Starting online therapy can feel like a leap of faith. You choose a platform, book a session, and meet your online counsellor, hoping it’ll be the right fit. But what happens when it isn’t? If you’re wondering whether it’s okay or even possible to switch online therapists when you’re not clicking with the first one, the answer is simple: yes, you absolutely can and should.
The Importance of Therapeutic Connection
In in-person and online therapy, the relationship between the therapist and client plays a huge role in the effectiveness of treatment. Studies consistently show that the therapeutic alliance marked by trust, empathy, and collaboration is a key predictor of successful outcomes. If you don’t feel safe, heard, or understood, it’s hard to open up or explore your deeper issues.
When it comes to online counsellors, the connection may sometimes feel even more fragile. A virtual setting can make it harder to read body language or build rapport, especially if the therapist isn’t a good communicator or doesn’t adapt well to digital formats. But this doesn’t mean that online therapy can’t work, it just means you haven’t found the right match yet.
Signs You May Not Be Connecting With Your Online Therapist
Here are some clear indicators that your current online therapist might not be the right fit:
- You don’t feel safe to open up.
Online counsellors should create a space where you feel secure to discuss even your most vulnerable issues. If that isn’t happening, it’s okay to explore other options. - You feel judged or misunderstood.
If your therapist dismisses your experiences, struggles to empathize, or responds with comments that don’t resonate, that’s a red flag. - The sessions feel unproductive or forced.
You may feel like the conversations are superficial or lacking direction. You leave sessions feeling confused, not relieved. - You feel anxious before or after sessions.
Some nerves are normal, especially in the beginning, but if your discomfort persists or grows, it might be more about the relationship than the process. - There’s a mismatch in communication styles.
Maybe you need someone more warm and nurturing, or perhaps more structured and direct. Communication tone matters, especially in online settings.
Is It Normal to Switch Therapists?
Absolutely. In fact, many people try more than one therapist before they find someone they connect with. It’s not a failure—it’s a part of the process. Think of it like dating: not every first date leads to a perfect match, and that’s okay. Therapy is deeply personal, and you deserve someone who feels aligned with your goals, values, and communication style.
How to Switch Therapists in Online Therapy Platforms?
One benefit of online therapy is that it’s often easier to switch therapists than in traditional, in-person settings. Most online therapy platforms have built-in features that allow you to request a different counsellor with minimal hassle.
Steps to Switch Online Counsellors:
1. Check Platform Policies
Different platforms have various ways to switch therapists. Most include a “Change Therapist” button in your dashboard or app.
2. Don’t Feel Guilty
It’s okay to change without needing to justify it. Your mental health journey is yours. You don’t need to stay in a therapeutic relationship that doesn’t serve you.
3. Give Feedback
Some platforms ask why you’re switching to improve their services. You can be honest, but you’re not obligated to explain in detail.
4. Transition Gracefully
If you’ve built some rapport with your therapist but still feel the mismatch, you might consider informing them directly. A respectful message like: “I’ve appreciated our sessions, but I think I need a different approach” is enough.es time. If things feel better but not perfect, give it a few more sessions before making another change.
How to Choose a Better-Fit Online Counsellor the Next Time
Here’s how you can narrow down your next match and avoid repeating the same experience:
1] Know What You Want
- Do you want someone warm and empathetic or goal-oriented and structured?
- Are you seeking help for trauma, anxiety, depression, grief, or relationship issues?
Knowing your goals and communication style helps filter options more effectively.
2} Review Profiles Thoroughly
Many online counsellors include their specialties, approaches (e.g., CBT, trauma-informed, solution-focused), languages spoken, and personal bios. Look for those who resonate with your concerns.
3} Ask Questions Early
Some platforms allow you to message your therapist before the first session. Use this opportunity to ask about their style, availability, or approach to your specific issue.
4} Consider Cultural Competence
If your concerns are tied to cultural identity, religious beliefs, or marginalized experiences, look for online counsellors with experience in those areas. Good online therapy platforms often list this information clearly. and message them before scheduling a session. Use that to your advantage to make a better decision.
What If I Keep Switching and Still Don’t Feel Right?
Sometimes the issue isn’t the therapist—it’s resistance, fear, or discomfort with the therapeutic process itself. That’s not uncommon, especially if you’ve never been in therapy before or are processing something painful.
Here’s what might help:
- Give it time: It may take 2–3 sessions to build trust.
- Name The Discomfort: Talk about your feelings in therapy. A good therapist will be open to feedback.
- Reflect On Expectations: Are you looking for advice or emotional processing? Are you expecting immediate results?
That said, if you’ve tried multiple online counsellors and still feel a disconnect, you might want to explore other therapy formats like group therapy, individual therapy, or even therapeutic coaching, depending on your goals.
It’s Your Journey, Own It
Therapy isn’t about pleasing someone else—it’s about healing yourself. You should feel comfortable, heard, and supported. If your first therapist didn’t provide that, it’s not a failure—it’s just part of the process.
Switching therapists doesn’t mean you’re difficult or disloyal. It means you’re self-aware and committed to finding the right path forward. And that’s exactly what online therapy is supposed to empower you to do.
Conclusion
Therapy is a deeply personal experience. It’s acceptable that you won’t be a good fit with every therapist. The flexibility of online therapy allows you to explore different online counsellors until you find someone who truly understands and supports you. Keep in mind that you are free to do as you like. So, if you’re feeling stuck or disconnected, give yourself permission to try again. The right therapist is out there—and they just might be a click away.